Intro to Wizardry
You have unlimited power and control of the universe and all of those around you. It is immediately in your grasp and ready for your will to animate it. Everything around you exists for the pleasure that it be available for you to seize. This site is a helpful intro into how.
As a wizard you will be delighted to find that in fact all of the humans around you are helpful avatars toward the agency of your will, and all of the objects and energy around you are for the application of your direction. Here we will present case studies on the direction of your will and the harnessing of your unlimited power.
On this site you will learn such skills as:
Controlling the weather
Happiness
Writing a persuasive letter
Becoming a titan of industry
Traveling through time
Teleportation
Amassing a great fortune
Transcending space and time
Taking over the world
Being famous
Being loved
Being immortal
Building a planet killing Death Star
X-ray vision
The power of flight
Lift a building with your bare hands
Change reality around you
Change the “laws” of physics
Quit smoking
Make really good chimichurri
Shoot energy weapons from your hands
Refactor really big prime numbers
Build a quantum computer
Build a really cool treehouse
Be a rock star
Divide by zero
Make a floating autonomous cape that gives you superpowers
Omniscience
Omnipotence
Omnipresence
A network of birds through whose eyes you can see
WARNING:
Whomsoever shall use these powers must be warned that while you may receive exactly what you think you want, you will discover that what you seek may consume you, and that you will be regretful. Also, deconstructing the reality around you will cause madness. Careful now.
The Edge of Madness
04/01/2020
I wandered to the edge of madness A few years of searching I found the truth In my heart of hearts I found... Nothing matters. But I was saved from the edge Of that crawling madness I discovered It seems That that didn’t matter I found That no...
Read More >>If I Only Had a Robot
03/01/2020
If I only had super intelligent robots Then I’d fix things - you’d see They’d make everybody love each other And fix the economy If I only had super intelligent robots Then I’d fix things - you’d see The wars would end, and conflict too And everybody woul...
Read More >>Heart of Darkness
02/22/2020
“I found myself back in the sepulchral city resenting the sight of people hurrying through the streets to filch a little money from each other, to devour their infamous cookery, to gulp their unwholesome beer, to dream their insignificant and silly dreams....
Read More >>The Boat You Row
02/08/2020
Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily: Life is but a dream.
Read More >>Two Crows Short of a Murder
01/27/2020
Never more.
Read More >>Dinosaur Top Hat
01/06/2020
I am the shape of a “p”. Sometimes people step on me. I live in the sky. What am I?
Read More >>Transformation
12/30/2019
Effortless transformation A flick of the tongue A bent finger Friction *Snap* Thy will be done Within and without Transformation complete Don’t fight the master Succumb to the heat Boiling, baking, Hell here on earth Is that what you’re feeling...
Read More >>A thread
12/24/2019
I’ll tell you something If you listen To your heart The inspiration Lives there Of which you are a part And if you listen You will find Behind your eyes And both of mine The mind that hears The heart we hear They’re both the same A common beat...
Read More >>Technological magic
12/16/2019
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Arthur C. Clarke
Read More >>